Cambridge Mum

Cambridge Mum

Friday, 12 November 2010

What does "family friendly" mean anyway?

Last night, Kirby and I decided we wanted to take advantage of our opportunities at Cambridge. Every Tuesday there is an informational session (and tea of course!) on various topics about England and Cambridge for visiting scholars and newcomers to the university. I have gone a couple times. They also set up tables with brochures on activities around the city. By the way, there is an amazing amount to things going on in this city- it's overwhelming really. The newcomers group also has events such as tours and talks in off-the-beaten-path places here in the city- our kinda thing!
So we got tickets to go to the secretive Master's Lodge (the accommodations for the head of the college) at Emmanuel College for wine and a talk on Antarctica. All these kind of events are supposed to be family friendly unless noted otherwise. I had the baby when I got the tickets, so no surprise about who was coming with me. So we got dressed up and headed out on a windy evening across town. We knew we were testing new waters. When we got there, people were friendly to us and the baby. We got our wine and mingled a bit. The speaker (didn't know at the time) entertained Juniper a few moments. Not bad, although it did seem that most of the people were older than us- maybe visiting scholars (professors) and not so much students. Ya know what, I wonder what they mean by newcomers, this isn't the sort of thing for undergrads. I'm not even sure about the graduate students? It was probably fine but I am suspicious.
When it was time for the talk, the organizer had us sit in the front row, next to the door to the entryway. It was where the stroller was and made a convenient escape. This made sense to me at the time- an "out" if we needed it.  Being the slow to think of things person that I am, it wasn't till later during the talk that I realized how nice it would have been to sit close to the living room which was attached to the room the talk was in. It would have been comfortable in the living room and Juniper would not have been a problem. She is not one to all-of-a-sudden start screaming. So she was entertained for 25 minutes sitting on my lap, looking at the speaker and slides, while chewing on my stylish baby toy necklace (thanks Aimee, it sure has come in handy!). When she started to get fussy a little, I gave her the boob. I had hoped before going that this would happen and then she would fall asleep for the rest of the talk, but she slept on the way over instead. (Hmmm, now I see how I could have planned a little differently- oh the manipulation of baby life!). Off to the entryway Juniper and I went!
That's when I realized I was pretty much trapped in a closet. I couldn't go outside because I would be locked out and I couldn't go back in and interrupt. I was trapped until the presentation was over. Twenty minutes and a diaper change later, we went back in. Everyone later commented on how good Juniper was.
On the walk home, Kirby and I both realized we were a little more stressed than we thought we were. It wasn't a bad time. It was a good in between venue to test out- not too formal, but more than informal. Part of the problem is that I can't seem to tell if it was a case of them acting like it was okay to have Juniper there but it wasn't really okay. Were they really thinking "what were they thinking bringing a baby," or is it really okay? We weren't ignored, but it was still too awkward. I can't tell if it is me worrying and making things up or if it is intuition speaking. I have such a hard time reading English people, well because I don't know the culture enough. I really don't talk to any on a regular basis, all my new friends are not English. Overall, it was too awkward and not worth it. There are plenty of other things to do here. Gotta stick to other events with other families. We just got to get used to busy days with kids and quiet evenings at home. If we want to go to these special formal opportunities together it will have to wait till we are ready for a babysitter (mom why can't you be here too?).  If I go to the session on Tuesday and they are all like "oh that was great you brought the baby, we are trying to get more families to come," I don't know what will I do. Try to keep leading the way? Blindly maybe. The talk on Antarctica was relevant to Juniper's life ahead, she needs to stand up for her generation, right?

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